10/08/09
New Section!
Psychology & Self Help
Advice, Dream Interpretation, Guest Psychologists We aren't mental health professionals, but a staff member does have a GED
Psychology & Self Help
Advice, Dream Interpretation, Guest Psychologists We aren't mental health professionals, but a staff member does have a GED
 | Stump the Shrink! is a new feature that puts our readers together with therapists. Dr. Paul Weston as our guest psychologist agreed to help Sookie Stackhouse sort out her problems in 50 minutes or less. The session began with a blood-curdling scream from Sookie, which didn't bode well for Dr. Paul. |
Dr. Paul: Christsakes what the fook is wrong with ye, girl? Sookie: That picture behind you! That's me wife, Kate. Do you know her? First of all, her name's MaryAnn, and she's DEAD! There's been times I wanted her dead meself, but I assure you, she's very much alive. Why do you say she is dead? |  |
| Because I saw her, she got gored by a bull! Dr. Paul, amused: Gored by a bull, ye say! I'll have to remember that one. When and where did this take place? In my front yard, two weeks ago! She was going to marry the bull, but he was having second thoughts. Anyway, she had on my grandmother's wedding dress and it was this huge deal. Dr. Paul, taking notes: And why did the bull kill her? Not that he needed a reason.... Because the ostrich egg got broke.. or because the pyramid of meat got knocked over. The God never came, so Mary Ann had a real long knife and stabbed my friend Sam, then he turned into the bull, and gored her with his arm! It was all black with goop and...well, it was all pretty confusing, to be honest. | Jaysus Mary and Joseph, I'm sure it was. You mentioned a 'pyramid of meat.' Interesting. Was it a large pyramid? It was huge! And it stunk to high heaven! Oh dear. Well, why don't ye tell me about the boyfriend, what's he like? Bill? He's a vampire, and he's missing, so what? I didn't say anything. You don't have to. I'm a telepath, I can read your thoughts. Really? What am I thinking now? That it's going to take a lot longer than 50 minutes to help me! You've got me there, Sookie. Congratulations. |
| . | |
| Dream On ~ | where anyone can have their dreams analyzed by staff or other readers. |
| Popular bloodsucker Eric
Northman often appears in the dreams and nightmares of others (and
claims to have no control over that), but what could possibly be
disturbing HIS slumber? One shudders to think. He came to us about a series of bizarre dreams because he can't relate to these puzzling activities, and needs help in decyphering their meaning. In dream #1, he and Sookie are watching television. Notice that Eric controls the remote. |  |
 In dream #3 (right), Sookie and Eric wear matching wife-beaters. | In dream #2 (left), Sookie says cryptically, "Not tonight, I have a headache."  |
In dream #4, Eric wears a bathrobe and slippers, spoons a reluctant "Sookie-Wookie", cries, and keeps repeating "But I wuv you." Be afraid Eric, be VERY afraid. These dreams are as sappy as a chick-flick from hell, and the defanging of your character is in the works. Remember Bill? Sookie isn't that special, so your interest makes you seem retarded. Hope we've helped. |  |
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