09/27/09
Vampire Rights
| Moderated by Robin Miller Joining us today is activist Nan Flanagan of the American Vampire League, and by satellite, Bill Compton's sponsor "Anonymous" in Memphis, who agreed to appear in disguise. Welcome to both of you. | Anonymous, you've been an outspoken critic of the AVL, and have made some enemies within the vampire community for your views. Tell us about the concerns you have. |
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| "Robin, Bloodsuckers Anonymous is against integration for
the simple fact that mixing with humans usually ends in disaster. Let's
just say that self-control is not our strong suit. It's like
putting a diabetic to work in a candy store. " "Oh please. I can't believe this *beep* wad is taken seriously by anyone other than wing-nuts and hate groups like Steve Newlin's." | "Flanagan, you must love
guys like Newlin. Anyone voicing rational concerns about vampires can be silenced by comparing them to
that whackjob. Go ahead. I've been called everything in the book, including a self-loathing vampiraphobe.
Nothing could be further from the truth, and truth is what I'm about." |
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| "Let
me ask you something, Flanagan. Given our general laziness and ability
to glamour law enforcement, how long will it take before the
infrastructure breaks down, chaos prevails, and humans are penned
up like pigs at the Hormel plant?" "That's quite an inflammatory image, but it would never happen. We need humans more than they need us." "They need us about as much as the bubonic plague, but most vampires are even dumber than humans, to be honest. Neither side seems capable of seeing the big picture." | "But with the invention of Tru-Blood, we no longer need them as a food
source. Let me assure the viewers that all of us are subsisting
entirely on the beverage now and there is no cause for alarm." "You're killin' me here! I heard you slinging the same bullshit to Bill Maher, but you and I both know that's not even remotely true. Robin, my upcoming book will blow the doors off Nan Flanagan and the AVL's real agenda." "Blow this." |
| Okay, moving along, I see Eric Northman has just joined us from Shreveport. Hello Eric, glad you could participate in the discussion. | |
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| "Thanks for having me, Robin. Ms. Flanagan, you're looking very butch today. Human costume at the cleaners?" | "Cut the crap Northman, or I'll have you strung up by your *beep* and drained into a toilet." "Always a pleasure, Nan." |
| "Did you say Eric Northman? Is this some kind of sick joke?" Not at all. Do you know Eric? "Oh, I know him alright. Back in the day, we pillaged and partied together many times. He might not remember me though. I'm his big brother." to be continued... |
| Detective Andy Bellefleur (seated, right) is becoming increasingly annoyed with the situation at the station house. "That maenad freak may be dead, but Bud hasn't been the same since." Dearborn dismisses that, claiming the rift is over pussy. "With Andy" he says, "it's always about the pussy." |  |
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